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| A Conscious Conversation About Love
Some say: Birds do it... Bees do it... Even educated fleas
do it.... let’s do it..... let’s fall in love! Others
proclaim.... Love, makes the world go around.
Or.... What the world needs now.... is love Sweet love.
Yet some say...
What’s Love Got to Do with It?? Well
what does love have to do with it? Life? Liberty? And the pursuit of
happiness?
Divorce rates are
staggering! In the US we rank #1 in the
world with on average 50% of those that marry divorcing! Over a million
children a year are involved in divorces.
Wonder if that number is growing or slowing?
These numbers
speak to what the LACK of love has to do with life love and the pursuit of
happiness and that is just referring so far to romantic love. Seems despite all the songs that we write,
love is one thing that we just aren’t too good at. There are dozens more indicators that prove
that we just don’t seem to be good at the love thing.
Murders are
rampant, over 16,000 a year in the US.
You can’t get much more un-loving than to murder someone! I don’t need
to remind you of Va. Tech a few years ago, or all the other school
murders. Our children are murdering each other!! Other violent and
non-violent crimes are
rampant too... Rape, embezzlement, robberies, car jackings, child
molestation Oh
my God!! Then there is the self abuse,
over-eating, drugs, alcoholism, gambling and the all too often
resultant
suicide.
Funny with as many
people in these United States (83% according to a recent ABC
poll)...who
profess to be Christians, you would think that we might be better at
this love
thing. After all Jesus himself only offered 3 Commandments and all 3
of them involved LOVE!!! They are of course Love God, Love Your
Neighbor as you Love Yourself.
So what are WE, as
conscious spiritual seekers, to do about IT?
And why do we care? Well first of
all we need to care because there really is only one of us here! Even
scientists today have finally agreed
that we are all connected by an invisible field...something like the
matrix,
and that what affects one of us affects all of us at some point. Have
you all heard the story of the 100th Monkey by Ken Keyes, Jr.? In case
you haven't, here it is:
The
Japanese monkey, Macaca fuscata, had been observed in the wild for a period of
over 30 years.
In
1952, on the island
of Koshima, scientists
were providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkeys
liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but they found the dirt unpleasant.
An
18-month-old female named Imo found she could solve the problem by washing the
potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught this trick to her mother. Her playmates
also learned this new way and they taught their mothers too.
This
cultural innovation was gradually picked up by various monkeys before the eyes
of the scientists.
Between
1952 and 1958 all the young monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to
make them more palatable.
Only
the adults who imitated their children learned this social improvement. Other
adults kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes.
Then
something startling took place. In the autumn of 1958, a certain number of
Koshima monkeys were washing sweet potatoes -- the exact number is not known.
Let
us suppose that when the sun rose one morning there were 99 monkeys on Koshima Island who had learned to wash their
sweet potatoes.
Let's
further suppose that later that morning, the hundredth monkey learned to wash
potatoes.
THEN
IT HAPPENED!
By
that evening almost everyone in the tribe was washing sweet potatoes before
eating them.
The
added energy of this hundredth monkey somehow created an ideological
breakthrough!
But
notice.
A
most surprising thing observed by these scientists was that the habit of
washing sweet potatoes then jumped over the sea --
Colonies
of monkeys on other islands and the mainland troop of monkeys at Takasakiyama
began washing their sweet potatoes.
Thus,
when a certain critical number achieves awareness, this new awareness may be
communicated from mind to mind.
Although
the exact number may vary, this Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon means that when
only a limited number of people know of a new way, it may remain the conscious
property of these people.
But
there is a point at which if only one more person tunes-in to a new awareness,
a field is strengthened so that this awareness is picked up by almost everyone!
(from
the book "The Hundredth Monkey" by Ken Keyes, Jr. The book is not
copyrighted and the material may be reproduced in whole or in part.)
So if we are all
connected, one child crying keeps us all awake on some level. Surely we all FELT in our hearts and souls
the pain of the people and loved ones of those whose lives were lost in Katrina, 9-11,
the Tsunami, Virginia Tech, Columbine.
And did we not feel mortified when we heard of the woman who left her
children in a hot car to die?
How do we make a
difference when the numbers and issues are so doggone staggering? We can’t all be like Mother Teresa, giving up
all of our worldly goods and going out to save the masses. Yes we can volunteer at our neighborhood food
shelter, or we could become a big brother or big sister (which are things I do
highly recommend by the way). Yep there
are many ways to get “involved”, but the most important and effective thing we
can do is to be sure that the only thing that ever vibrates from within us is
love. We really must first learn what
love is and practice it in every moment of our own lives.
It isn’t the
outward acts that necessarily demonstrate love, every second of every day we
have the chance to demonstrate love the way Jesus suggested.... to our
God-Selves, to our Neighbors and most critical, to our selves.
What exactly is
love? M. Scott Peck author of The
Road Less Traveled says that love is "The will to extend one's self
for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's
spiritual growth”. One of www.dictionary.com’s
18 definitions says it is “affectionate concern for the well-being of others”. Gary
Chapman, author of “The Five Languages of Love says “While love is a
many-splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing, too. And as
people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of
personal expressions of love. More often than not, the giver and the receiver
each express love in different ways. That can lead to misunderstanding,
quarrels, and even divorce.” He goes on to say”Learn to speak and understand your mate's love language,
and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in
return.”
All of them imply
that love is about uplifting one’s spirit.
We need to learn to do that for God, ourselves and others. So what are some ways we can do that daily...
moment by moment?
Regarding us - we
can stop criticizing ourselves - You know that little voice in your head that
constantly nags you? Stop her! Stop him!
Stop them in their tracks! Thank
them for sharing and then reframe the conversation - think about all the good
that you have going for you. Talk about
that good to yourself. Admire yourself,
honor yourself, respect and appreciate yourself. Do it daily - look yourself in the eyes and
say how you love yourself.
Part of why we
have difficulty loving others is because on some subconscious level we probably
ask, “How can I love them when I can’t
love me? How is it that they are more deserving than me?” Well they aren’t any more deserving but they
also aren’t any less deserving. We are all - ALL -
deserving of love no matter what we have done in the past. LOVE YOURSELF!!
What can we do regarding
others? Forgive them. I don’t care what they did - Forgive
them. How many times? Our teacher, Elder
Brother and Way Shower, Jesus the Christ said that we should forgive 70
times 7. That sounds like a lot! That sounds like, um, as many times
as it
takes!
Forgive your
mother, forgive your father, forgive your siblings, forgive your past lovers,
forgive your current lovers. Forgive the
neighbor who doesn’t pick up their dog droppings. Forgive the teacher that embarrassed you in
the third grade, forgive the woman that walked out on you and the car dealer
that sold you a lemon as well as the parent that didn’t respect your decision
making even as an adult.
Make a list of a
minimum of 70 people that you need to forgive and do it. I highly recommend you use the free tools of
Radical Forgiveness to do this work.
Read my article on the topic (click here) to find out how.
Once you have really
(and radically) forgiven that many people, Imagine how much stuck energy you
will be releasing from your mind and body, freeing you up to give and receive
more and more love instead of being clogged and bogged down with old grudges and
heartbreaks. Do this every time you find
yourself triggered by someone, or embroiled in a conflict of any sort. Remember that the Law of Attraction says that
you attract what you focus on so focus on forgiveness and you will automatically
be focusing on love and attracting more of it into your life.
Uplift
someone. It may sound trite, but be nice
to strangers. Make it your mission to be
the light in everyone you meet’s day. At
the checkout counter I always make sure that I share a smile, or a little joke
to spread a little love their way especially the grouchy ones. Send love to the person honking the car
behind you. They will feel it
energetically. We know that thoughts are
things. If you can stomach the news,
which I only occasionally can, send prayers and love to the T.V. set as you
watch the horror that is going on around the world. Every thought you create affects every atom
on the planet.
Speak to
children. Children are often some of the
most ignored people on the planet, especially teens. No matter whether their hair is blue or their
pants are falling off - speak to the children and send them love. They are our future and we really do need to
let them know we support them as they go through this awkward phase of
life. Do you remember how awkward it was
being a teen? Give them your love.
Almost done. There are certainly more things I am sure you
will think of on your own but here are a final few. Show appreciation. Give folks verbal conscious words of
appreciation. Certainly do it for your
family, but also for the people you interact with daily. Tell the cleaner’s clerk that you appreciate
the prompt attention you get every time you come in. Tell the nail lady that you appreciate her
attention to detail with your nails.
Tell your kid’s teacher how you appreciate their work with your kids. Go on an appreciation mission - seeking all
the good things that are going on around you and offer conscious words of
appreciation. There is power in our
words. That also goes for the trees and
the cars and furniture too! We are all
made of vibrating energy and not just the people, plants and pets pick up on
the love we send.
Finally, go on a
no complaint diet. Refuse to complain
about anything to anyone. All things are
in divine order and resisting what is is one of the #1 ways we move out of a
space of love. Work on accepting all
situations and find the lesson and love the opportunity to rise again in
consciousness. You do know that we need
not stay in circumstances that are hurtful or causing us distress. Yet the more we focus on love, the more love
is attracted to us, and the fewer such unpleasant situations will show up. As you send love out to your world it will
vibrate out to the rest of the world.
When you love 100 people and they love 100 people, one day we’ll have a
critical mass of love sweeping the planet and it really will make the world go
around!
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